Coffee Talk #154: Free Up Your Energy

Are you living the life you’re meant to live (check out last week’s post about “How to Get What You Want”)?

It’s Tuesday! Grab your cup and let’s start chatting.

Living the life that cries to be lived from the depth of our being frees up our energy and vitality. (The Yamas and Niyamas)

I think about energy A LOT. I often get asked “How do you have so much energy?” or “Can I have just a sliver of your energy?” In October, I’ve been teaching 14+ classes a week, on top of working 28 hours a week for MBRT, and 12-14 hours/week for a local gym. I’ve created a lifestyle that lets me move from position to position to class to class. It takes a lot of planning and a lot of energy. But, for the most part, I’ve eliminated bad stress from my work equation.

‘Stress’ comes from work that we don’t want to do but feel that we’re obligated to do. I’ve limited most of my sources of bad stress, but still feel a little pull related to a job that I have simply because of the obligation to pay bills. My ideal situation is to be in a place where I’m doing 100% work that fuels me and my goals, and not someone else’s goals, while earning enough to live the way I want to live. I’m not there yet, but I’m working toward it.

Suppressing the life that you want to live takes an inordinate amount of energy. Even if you’re ‘really good’ at the work, if it’s not what you want to do, it’s time to create an exit strategy. I have skills and talents in lots of areas, and the work I do is fulfilling, but at what expense? If you’re not showing up 100% to your life’s work and feeling awesome about every step, is it really what you’re meant to do?

Related, I also encourage people to be authentic. Just because you think you ‘should’ be doing something, that does not mean that you have to do it. Take this for example – as a young girl, I was taught that it was my duty to grow up, get a job with benefits, pay bills, work paycheck to paycheck but still find some way to save and go on adventures, find a husband, and have kids. In my early 20s, this STRESSED me so much, because I felt like a disappointment, like I couldn’t live up to this road map that was created for me. Once I took a deep breath and thought about what I really wanted, I calmed down a little. I didn’t want that life, I wanted my life. Working a corporate job in an office, with cute heels and suits, was presented to me as being super successful, but it felt like a lie to me. I was supposed to think kids were super awesome and that I should have a gaggle of them, but that felt not exciting to me. I was told that having a job without benefits was like the worst thing for an educated female, but I didn’t like the jobs that offered ‘great benefits.’ Listen to your gut on this one.

Some of the battle is learning about your energy source—do you get energy from recharging your batteries in solitude, or do you get energy from being around other people? My energy source is confusing; I get energy from both. I often joke that I lead a “double life” as an introvert and an extrovert. I love leading a class or making a presentation in front of a group, but I also crave alone time, and my house is a quiet, serene atmosphere.

Another area to free up your energy is figuring out your third space. Most of us have a home and a workplace. What’s a third place that you can visit or seek for solace? A lot of my struggle comes from not having a stable third place, but it’s my goal to create one. I’ve moved a lot in my life, so I’m no stranger to being somewhat of a traveling gypsy, meaning I’m able to make it work, teaching and training at so many locations. Where is a third space you can seek that fuels your creativity and allows you to be yourself?

Creating boundaries also helps to free your energy. Sometimes the boundaries are physical spaces, sometimes boundaries are people. I’ve waxed poetic about boundaries here and here. I love doing a ‘check-up’ often, making sure that I’ve created the right boundaries for me. I don’t take giddy pleasure in saying no, but it feels good when I don’t have to show up to something I don’t want to attend.

This one is harder, but if you feel the “Sunday blues” every day when it comes to thinking about work or your daily schedule, it’s time to create your exit strategy. I get it, it’s scary. I have a whole post dedicated to this forthcoming, where I’m sharing my exit strategy from a “great, stable job.” You are responsible for you. If you’re unhappy with your current situation, it’s time to make a change! Following your bliss, even if it means struggling, can lead to more energy and a happier outlook. It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it. Start slowly, maybe work a side hustle in an area that is fun for you. Maybe that will fizzle, or maybe you’ll open yourself up to a whole world of possibility. You’re not stuck. I promise.

Please note — if you’re feeling zapped all the time, and like you don’t have energy to do the things you enjoy, here’s my disclaimer – if this is something medically or constantly affecting you, these tips might not be for you. I always recommend seeking the help that you need.

5 Ways to Free Up Your Energy

1. Ask yourself where you are pretending to be happy—what areas of your life are for you, and what areas are ‘because you think you have to’ do something?
2. Learn about your energy source (from solitude or being around people).
3. Figure out your third space (home, work, xx – third space). It’s a place that you feel stable and grounded away from home and work.
4. Create boundaries. Sometimes this includes distancing from people you love, and saying NO more often than not.
5. Create an exit strategy from the life you don’t want to live, and a road map toward the life you want. Be authentic to you.