Coffee Talk #168: Own your Story

It’s Tuesday! Grab your cup and let’s start chattin’.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d offer this quick update: classes are going well, the Washington College location classes are packed with the return of the College students. It’s a lot to teach back-to-back classes every day, especially in the middle of increasing my yoga practice, working on YTT class materials, studying for my AFAA re-certification, and working. I’m really excited about the surge in barre interest, and love sharing all the different formats with people.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’ve just registered for yet another fitness training, which presented itself on a whim. I love the opportunity to learn and grow, and share the latest and greatest with my clients. Fitness should be fun and I’m on a mission to keep providing that environment.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I was listening to the RISE podcast episode with Ben Horowitz, which prompted today’s post. The topic was related to not caring what others think and living in fearless pursuit of your own personal truth. I’ve learned as a creative not to share what you’re working on until it’s all in place or has already started, but I’m starting to break away from this mentality. I want to bring people along for the ride! How often do you see the end result of something and think “it was easy for them to do this” or “they had help in so many ways?” The daily work, the struggle, the process – THAT is how things happen. The end result is pretty with a bow, but I want to share the WORK that created it.

We live in an image-obsessed society where being flawless is admired. We all have parts of our story that we feel vulnerable sharing with others. Even just this week, as we were playing with balance poses in a yoga class, I had someone come up to me after class and admire my eight-angle pose. “You do it so effortlessly” they exclaimed. I wanted to scream NO! I have been practicing that pose for years. I fell on my face 100 times. I put in so much work to make that happen. I want to be better about sharing this process.

This got me thinking even more. If we were having coffee together today, I’d share some of my truths. Maybe you’d call them flaws, but I think of them as truths. These are some of the things that define me and how I spend my time.

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.” ~ Brene Brown

5 of My Truths:

1. I value productivity. I do, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I think we have only so much time, why not spend it doing things? I like to travel, to move, to create and accomplish meaningful tasks. I have a difficult time working with people who do not feel this way.As a kid, I was always paired with the trouble maker or the lazy kid, in the hopes that my work ethic would magically rub off on them. Spoiler: it didn’t, it just made me an angry little elf. I was so grateful in high school for honors and AP classes, because I was finally surrounded by other kids who cared.

   Professionally, I’m a results-driven individual. I love data and reports that showcase a well-rounded, completed task. I recently completed a DISC assessment that further agrees with my love of productivity, and also says that I have high expectations for others, have a high drive, am a self-starter, that I am fueled by ego and optimism, and that I’m a risk-taker. It concludes that I’m a valuable member of a team, especially if I am given responsibility and a commensurate level of authority to carry out tasks.

2. I value movement. Our bodies were made to move. I need to move in some way every day. I’ve learned over time that daily movement is not the same as GO HARD every single day. I don’t freak out if a work out does not leave me sore or sweaty.

   Part of the reason I haven’t had injury after teaching so many classes in 11 years is that I balance my workouts – some yin, some yang, some intense some low impact and stretchy. I also have learned to move with precision and control, which is one of the things that drew me to barre.

3. I want to be working 100% in health and wellness. I have worked so many jobs. During this tax season, husband like rolls his eyes every time a W2 or a 1099 makes its way to our house. He has one. I have 14. I feel like I have so many talents (which I say confidently, see #4) that I don’t like to restrict myself to just one task.That’s one of the reasons I keep getting certifications for different types of fitness classes – there’s so much out there and I crave knowing ALL of it.

   This also puts me in an awkward place at my current non-fitness job, because I’m clearly not all-in, even though I’m super productive, get all of my work done, and have a strong competency for the work that we do. I tried to be all fitness, then had a minor freak-out and this job presented itself to me. I love my students and completely adore the part where I get to dream with them about the future, but it’s not the job I want to be doing all day every day. I think about this every single day.

   I don’t want to be teaching 30 classes a week, I know that for sure, and I don’t want to be working the front desk at a fitness club, I also know that. There’s a happy spot in there for me, I haven’t figured it out how I want to spend my professional time — yet. I know a few things: it must be flexible (no being stuck 8+ hours in one place!), it must be helping people, it must be related to fitness, health, or wellness experiences, and it must pay at a level related to my years of experience and competencies.

4. I’m confident, which can be perceived as snobby or arrogant. I know what I like and what I don’t like, and that often rubs others the wrong way. If I don’t know something, I’m confident that I can learn about it or find the right answer.

   I don’t say yes to things I don’t want to do, which also causes some tension. I like who I am, and I know that I have the power to do better and be better as I continue to grow and learn.

5. I love and loathe structure. I like being organized and orderly, but despise [some] rules. I’ve always been a ‘good kid’ but I know how to bend the rules to my favor. If given a task, I need 100% authority on how to complete it. I always find loopholes that make a task work well for me and those that it serves. That being said, I also stand firm in my principles and have amazing willpower to accomplish what I need.

   Related, I don’t like when others place expectations on me because of traditions or my age or gender. I firmly believe we should all run our own race and stay in our own lanes, all while doing no harm to others and leaving spaces a little better than we found them.

This is me! I hope you go into the rest of this week admiring your truths and being willing to share and embrace them.