Coffee Talk #144: 5 Ways to Live Louder

It’s time! Grab your cup and let’s start chattin’.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that it’s office moving week! I’m switching offices with someone at the high school, so I’ll be over here organizing and hanging things and plotting to bring ALL the yellow into my space. New Kent NGS headquarters!! It’s been super awesome to work from home this summer. Nothing beats my back patio office.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’m getting ready to greet a new group of Orientation students next week! We have lots of adventures planned: kayaking, zip lining, cardio kickboxing, a healthy living talk & smoothes with Tracy’s Healthy Living, SUP Yoga with Capital SUP, and Beginner Yoga with Posey the Yogi. So excited to share some of my favorite things with this group!

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that this is a crazy week filled with ALL the classes – I have so many this week. I love seeing people come, build community, work hard, and feel accomplished when they leave. So awesome. I love what I do.

If we’ve been coffee chattin’ for awhile, you know that I’m all about confidence. One of the reasons I feel I’m meant to teach group fitness is to help individuals reclaim their confidence. I’m currently working my way through Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis, and one excerpt really struck me:

“I constantly seek out other women in leadership, and what I find again and again are women doing just what I did. They’re downplaying all that they’ve achieved, because they’ve been taught that it makes others feel uncomfortable.”

Whoa. Is this true for you, too? I felt this in my bones. I still downplay some of the things I do. Recently, we were talking to someone, and my husband said something about me being a fitness guru. I quietly said something like “oh, I teach a few classes.” I’m playing that over and over in my mind now, especially after reading this excerpt, because what? Excuse me? I’m certified in TEN different formats, I bust my behind to offer top-notch classes, I’m constantly scheduling, practicing, learning, paying for new certs, reaching out to clients, answering questions, taking requests. I hustle. I’ve been hustling for TEN years doing this. I need to stop downplaying my knowledge and skills and abilities.

This got me thinking about Living OUT LOUD. Like, you pour your heart into something, and you’re just going to downplay it when asked about it? No more. Here are 5 tips for being more confident and living out loud.

5 Ways to Live Louder

1. No shame in your game. Don’t be ashamed of what you do. Do you work a second job to pay for things that you want or need in your life? Say it out loud! Do you love your life and don’t feel pressure to have kids, or do anything else expected? SING IT! Don’t be afraid to speak your truth. Someone else is harboring those same thoughts and feelings, and you being LOUD about them helps others find and speak their truths, too.

2. POST it. POST IT. One of my weird pet peeves is when someone goes “I don’t normally post this” or “I don’t like selfies, but here’s a cute one.” Like…what? It’s YOUR page, it’s YOUR life, please post and share what you want, especially if it’s empowering to you. It can inspire others! Every rule has an exception and one would be please don’t post fake news. Or anything mean or derogatory to others. Controversial posts are great if they start a productive conversation and create awareness. Ok? Great.

3. Call outs. Someone wrong you? Call them out. This one borders being assertive — stand UP for yourself. A caveat here — pick your battles. Not everything will be worth calling out, especially if it embarrasses the other person in a mean way. Sometimes, it’s better to let the other person with the ego have the moment–you can justify this knowing that they are not as far developed as you, so you can be the bigger person. PLEASE know that I’m personally struggling with this one, too, so we’re here together.

4. Don’t say I’m sorry. Stop apologizing. Women (ESPECIALLY women) apologize too dang much. I’ve started saying “thank you” in place of “I’m sorry.” An example–instead of “sorry I’m so late” say “thank you for waiting!” or instead of “sorry I messed up that detail” say “thanks for being patient as I learn about this!” It makes a positive interaction on both sides. I’m from the Midwest and we say “SORRY” when someone else bumps into US, so it’s forever something I’m consciously trying to stop doing.

5. Tell me why. I have two friends who are similar to me, in regard to the whole “I have a job that requires LOTS of human interaction, so sometimes I don’t want to people anymore.” We make plans, but are REAL with each other when we don’t want to go anymore. And guess what? No hard feelings on any side when we cancel plans. (side note: aren’t cancelled plans like, the best?) Moral of this story: be honest with people in your life, especially when it comes to making/breaking plans. If they get upset, they aren’t your people.

I feel super energized after sharing this list. I hope you feel the same way. I’d love to hear some ways you are living LOUD!