Coffee Talk #151: 5 Tips when you feel overwhelmed

It’s Tuesday! Grab your cup and let’s start chattin’.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’m about 50% through with my first 1:1 meetings with my students. For my job with MBRT, I’m tasked with helping about 170 students think about the future. We talk about what’s happening now, what problems they’d like to solve, what jobs they think are cool, potential paths for college, military, etc., and we make a plan. I have created the ability to meet with my students 1:1, so we can make the meetings super personalized.

One of the things we’re focusing on this year is building soft skills. Regardless of what industry they want to be part of, soft skills are necessary for success. We go through a checklist of some of the top things employers are looking for (things like organization, adaptability, work ethic, critical thinking), we talk about each one, and whether the individual feels like they have those skills. I’m making note of the skills that hardly anyone checks. The top soft skill that most of my students feel they are lacking? Time management. Time management is the process of planning (and, even harder, controlling) how much time to spend on activities.

This soft skill is my jam. Time management is the skill I was born to share. In creating a flexible job situation for myself, I have to come to terms with the fact that many days or weeks, I will have high volume work. I create a lot of the work for myself, being super Type A and deciding to have multiple jobs. I give myself time limits for each task, and I color code everything.

Time management is HARD. I know adults who don’t have it. Sometimes, I don’t believe I have it. Earlier this week (ha, it’s Tuesday), I started to feel overwhelmed, with three big promo items for one job, 5 tasks to complete for another, on top of daily classes, a commit to fit challenge (daily workouts), and now starting a new challenge for October. I have deadlines constantly, and as much as I really like working under pressure, it gets to me sometimes, too. I took a deep breath, and worked through some of the tips I’m about to share with you.

What do you do when you feel stressed or overwhelmed but need to get stuff DONE? (Please, please — if you are feeling this way constantly, I urge you to seek help. Please don’t mistake this as a way to cure depression or anxiety. I fully appreciate that there may be some who cannot handle calming themselves down, and that these tips might not work because of a chemical imbalance. This is information for the average Joe who gets a little overwhelmed from time to time. Thank you for coming to my TED talk).

Tips for things to do when you feel overwhelmed

1. Circle/counting breathing. This comes straight from my yoga training. Imagine drawing a circle with the breath. I like to start at the bottom center, drawing a clockwise circle. Breathe in as you draw up to the top, breathe out as you close the circle, drawing from the top to the bottom. This will calm the nervous system. I usually do 5-10 of these, depending on the situation.

2. Take a walk. This is my go-to. My dog appreciates this one. Even though we have a huge fenced-in yard for her to run around, I’ve prioritized long daily walks with her. I try not to take my phone on our walks, so I can just breathe, appreciate our time together, and enjoy the scenery. It’s good to step away for a moment, I promise it will make everything seem better. I often find that my feelings of being overwhelmed completely subside after a walk.

3. Close your eyes and/or take a nap. This might seem counter-productive, and I totally appreciate that you might not have the lifestyle that lets you nap (I will push back on you and tell you that YOU create your schedule, it’s time to own up to it), BUT it totally works. Even an 8-10 minute nap will do wonders for your productivity. It’s like pushing the reset button on your phone. Everything becomes right again. I will warn – don’t do more than 20 minutes. The moment you get into a really deep sleep, things shift in your brain. It will be harder to jump back into the swing of things. But for REAL sleep info and data, please check out my friend Tracy’s sleep guide. I’ve heard her talks on the importance of sleep, and MAN is that a good place to start with your healthy living journey.

4. Make a brain dump list. Literally, just write everything on a piece of paper. Every single thing you are thinking. Need to shower? Write it down. Have a deadline for a report? Write it down. Need to call someone back? Write it down. Get it all out on that paper. Many times, you’ll find that you really don’t have too many things to do, it just seems that way in your head.

5. Choose an easy win. Take a look at the list you created from #4. Choose the easiest thing to accomplish on that list. Do that thing. Breathe a sigh of relief. See? You CAN do this. Take it one step at a time.

BONUS: What not to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed

1. DO. NOT. SEND. EMAIL. MESSAGES. I cannot stress this enough. I have burned so many bridges by sending quick, harsh reply messages when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Never, ever again will I do this. You can 100% write the email, but do not, under any circumstances, send it. No one deserves rudeness because you’re feeling overwhelmed. Also, email is the freakin’ worst.

2. Do not multitask. Do one thing at a time. Just one. When you complete that thing, move on to another. Multitasking makes being overwhelmed so much worse.