Coffee Talk #152: How to Get What You Want

It’s Tuesday! Grab your cup and let’s start chattin’.

If we were having coffee together this week (I wrote ‘this year’ twice so there you go), I’d tell you that I completed Weekend 2 of my Yoga Teacher Training. I’m enjoying this process – I have a solid yoga practice, but we’re learning how to create space for others, we’re sharing an emotional journey with the other teacher trainers, and we’re reading and diving into the 8 limbs of yoga, in addition to other texts. This weekend, we got to assist with a Beginner Yoga Workshop, and that was so exciting. The energy of meeting people on their mats, sharing the journey of the practice, and working alongside my teacher training buddies was awesome. I’m sharing more about my YTT journey on insta (#fwagoestoytt).

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that the word I kept vibing and saying all weekend during training was “content.” Content is good, right, it’s a positive word, meaning satisfied and happy. But it scares me. In my mind, if I’m not constantly growing, working, learning, or doing, I’m not giving myself the best chance or opportunity to be successful. To me, being or feeling content means that I’m in one space and not doing everything I can, that I’m missing something. I like the hustle, and I like to build myself.

But here’s the thing – I felt good sharing that word and feeling that way when we talked about it at YTT. How can that be right? For YTT, we have to keep a daily journal, writing unfiltered for a short period of time each day. We also have to respond to prompts in one of our texts. The final prompt for the first month was super hard for me to answer:

“For this whole week, pretend you are complete. There is no need to expect anything from yourself or to criticize or judge or change anything about you.” (The Yamas and Niyamas, Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice)

I am not one to rest on my laurels (hence 10 fit certifications and currently working through a new one). Yet, I had to go through the week imagining that I was complete. That I didn’t need to do anything else or anything new. That I didn’t have to change anything. This was a challenge for me!

The turning point during this week of study for me was realizing that it’s not about not allowing changes. It’s about not forcing them, the idea that you don’t need to fix something that isn’t actually broken. I’m thirsty. I like gathering experiences and I like opportunities. I also really love what I have and what I’ve accomplished. Can you have both? I’m here to say YES, why not?

In the spirit of contentment, but also bettering yourself, I’m sharing a fun list: How to get what you want. Like what you have? Awesome. It doesn’t mean that you can’t keep improving, tweaking, and putting your best self out there.

5 Moves to Get What You Want

1. Thoughts matter. Thoughts influence actions. If you think about achieving a goal, if you tell yourself that you can do it, it’s more likely to happen.
2. Know what you want. I cannot stress this one enough. You can’t achieve what you want without first knowing what you want.
3. Embrace your fears. It’s ok to have fears! We’re learning in YTT that fears are ok, but you have to see them, recognize them, embrace them, and then do the thing that freaks you out anyway.
4. Tell others what you want. Be careful with this one — some people will not be your biggest cheerleader. They might even be people really close to you. Don’t get discouraged. I recommend sharing your goals with a few close friends and a mentor. Someone should hear what you want, especially those you think will be real with you, but also encouraging.
5. Work every day on your goal. This is a big one. Don’t set it and forget it with your goal. This is your life. If you’re not working every day toward it, maybe it’s not the right goal and it needs to be tweaked.

Go out there and get what you want