Coffee Talk #205: Finding a Mentor

It’s Tuesday! Grab your cup and let’s start chattin’.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that the countdown is ON for Anderson Anniversary Trip! Each night, we’re taking a deep dive and researching each park and surrounding area to find the best socially-distant opportunities. I’m super excited – I really crave explore time, meaningful time with my husband, and a chance to have a little change of place.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I shared all things MENTOR on the Coffee Talk Live chat today. I shared a few pieces of advice I’ve gotten from mentors over the years, and tips and tricks to get yourself a mentor.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that the reality is this: no one is ‘self made.’ We all lean on others to get to our success. The ‘self made man’ is only made possible through connections, networking, and outside perspective. We can only grow to the capacity we know — we need the help of others to push us to the next level.

There are a few kinds of helpers: sponsors, coaches, cheerleaders, therapists, and mentors. I like to separate these kinds of helpers because it helps to create a list of possibilities for a mentor. A mentor is NOT a friend (usually), not a cheerleader (we need these but they serve a different purpose), a therapist (not here to live in your issues), a coach (they won’t advocate FOR you, rather they help you find the tools you need to self-advocate), or a sponsor (same idea as coach).

A mentor is a trusted individual who can help you solve problem A to get to point B. They’re someone making moves in your industry (or the industry you want to join). They are experienced and knowledgeable in the area in which you want to grow.

I’ve been fortunate to have several mentors in my professional careers and each time I work with them, I come back stronger and better.

So, how do you get one? How do you even get started? I’ve developed a short road map to discovery.

How to Find (and Keep) a Mentor

1. What do you want to achieve? Start with reflection. What do I want to achieve? What are my ‘growing edges’? What is keeping me from being the best version of myself in this industry? What issue or problem am I trying to solve?

2. Someone in your industry? Here’s how you identify a potential mentor – look for people in your industry who are making moves. Create a list. Look on networking sites like LinkedIn – do you have any connections? Reach out to your connections to establish an introduction if needed. Once you have your list, it’s time to make the ask.

I highly recommend doing this via email, though I have also made in-person asks. Keep it short, state your point, ask for a meeting.

3. Offer value. Bonus — if you can offer something in return for this potential mentor’s time, it will establish a stronger connection. What are your skills? What are you awesome at doing? Check into your potential mentor’s professional profile and determine if your skills are also a match for their needs.

4. Be OPEN to feedback. This is the tough one. When you open yourself to be mentored, you have to accept feedback. You’re going into this admitting that you are stuck, that you need a breath of fresh air, that there’s a problem you’re facing to get to point B. Be open to feedback.

5. Meet again. Get a meeting? GREAT. Establish your second meeting in the first session. The caveat here is if the first meeting does NOT go well, please don’t continue to put yourself in that situation. Worried about taking their time? If you already had a first meeting and it goes well, you’re not a burden on their time. I’ve found that productive and successful people enjoy the company and energy of those who are also on their path to success, especially if you can find something of value to share with that individual.

Are you ready to make your first ask to a potential mentor? Please reach out if you want more guidance!