Coffee Talk Tuesday #124

It’s Tuesday! Grab a cup and let’s get chattin’. On a related note, this lady is PUMPED for pancake dinner and king cake tonight…

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I got to fill my morning with coffee chats/meetings! What a fabulous way to start the day. I got to chat with a like-minded awesome individual about positivity and growth, plan for a career workshop with a terrific academic mentor, and I got to network with a retired teacher and talk about providing opportunities for Kent County students. What a productive morning.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’m in full planning mode for summer opportunities for my Next Gen students. What does that mean? We have a goal as an organization to connect students to summer learning opportunities. The hard-number goal is 25% engaged (for me, that’s about 46 students), so we’re creating a list in each of our counties of opportunities that already exist, and then working with individuals to plan new academic, service, and leadership summer engagements. Hmu if you’re an organization that is in need of students who need service hours! Or, if you’re an individual with gifts to share (we’re planning a SAT prep workshop, for example).

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that today is the start of my Spring into You Wellness Challenge – 21 days of uplifting content. It’s time to fill our lives with positivity, and to lift up each other! Join me in this free fb group for the 21-day challenge. A new prompt is shared daily, and you can see the full calendar of prompts in the group! The first day is “Share one fun fact about you” — I LOVE learning about you!!

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’m also launching another virtual fitness group. This time, it’s a group that is ongoing! You will have access to this group forever. I’m posting a taste of each of the fitness classes I teach – Barre, Buti, HIIT, Intervals, PiYo, Turbo Kick, and Zumba. You get 7 30-minute classes for just $10. This is a GREAT way to see all of the formats I teach in one place – especially if you’ve been thinking about trying out a different class. Here’s a link to the group and the link to paypal. Current students can also pay in class or I can punch your FWA class card 2 times to access this deal.

If we were having coffee together today, I’d tell you that I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries. This is a topic I mull over frequently, and I’m constantly thinking about my professional and personal boundaries. This is also a topic that causes conflict for me. I want so badly to be part of things (sort of), to do good things (yes that is true), and to be competitive (not in a “better than you” way, but to stay on top of MY game). I get asked to do quite a lot of things, many times for free. When I first started teaching fitness classes, I said yes to EVERY opportunity, thinking that would put me ahead. Instead, it made me feel incomplete and exhausted. I was taking advantage of every opportunity presented, why would that be a bad thing? I didn’t have boundaries.

Boundaries are meant to PROTECT you, from yourself. But also from others. I’m much better now at going with my initial gut feeling, but that is 10 years later. I don’t think about things now as “missed opportunities,” rather a chance to be true to myself. I don’t do a lot of social things, and I don’t miss it. I don’t say yes to every request for classes, and my plate is still very full. I didn’t feel badly about saying “it’s time for me to go” when my hours ran out during a training (meaning I’d be working free, which goes against my financial boundaries). I don’t feel pressure when (innocently) attacked with questions about how I live my life, why I don’t have kids, why I work so many jobs, and–my favorite latest one–how I can afford so many nice trips.

A good friend and mentor sent a podcast my way that talks about all of these things and more (Inidgo Colton “How Boundaries Allow You to Show Up as Your Best Self.) My biggest takeaways from this podcast:

• If we don’t prioritize our own energy and well-being no one is going to do it for us
• The only people who get mad about you having boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any. Are they worth having in your life? Minimize time with them.
• You are the expert of you, you are responsible for you and your life.
• As you grow and evolve so will your boundaries–you won’t be the same person year to year
• Can’t outsource boundaries or energy management or time management

I love the idea of being in CHARGE of your life and boundaries, and letting go those who benefit from you having no boundaries. I love the idea, too, that your boundaries can grow and change as YOU grow and change. A priority to me today is not the same as 5, 10 years ago.

Questions I ask myself to create and protect my boundaries:

1. What is the deadline? Is it realistic to get involved in this and not be stressed?
2. Does the idea of this project STRESS me or IMPRESS me (stress = an indication that you are not honoring a boundary)
3. Will I learn something valuable from this experience?
4. Am I helping others without putting myself in a bad situation?
5. What is my worst fear about saying no to an opportunity?
6. Does the way I plan my time inhibit or advance my priorities?
7. Will this add or subtract from the life I want to live?

Practice makes perfect when it comes to creating and setting boundaries. There is no right or wrong — what matters is do these boundaries honor YOU at this moment? Setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect, and I have a ton of respect for people who can say no with confidence. Boundaries are NOT selfish, you have to fill your cup and protect yourself before you can even begin to help others.

That’s a heavy topic for a Tuesday, and an important topic that I will never ever stop talking about to those who want to chat! Off to play with data and plan today’s lift workout. Peep my workouts in insta stories.